Carol Ades on Her Debut Single, “I Can’t Wait to Be British”

We often think changing things about ourselves will make us feel better and happier. If we were skinnier or had more money or spoke in British accents so that we’d sound smarter and more sophisticated, we would become exactly that. Carol Ades’s latest release, “I Can’t Wait to Be British” talks about irrational ways we try to rationalize being unhappy. Ades is a gem of a songwriter. Every line she writes is important. I got the chance to ask her a few questions about her debut single. Read our interview below. 

YOU WRITE A LOT WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND HAD A CO-WRITE COME OUT THE SAME DAY AS “I Can’t Wait to Be British.” WHAT WAS THAT LIKE?

It was really fun. It was a little bit overwhelming. Having co-writes come out with other artists is still a very new thing. I’ve been writing for other artists for a long time, but not a lot of them have come out, so I feel like I’m really at the beginning of that career too. But I felt so much love on that day. It was awesome. 

WHAT’S THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WRITING FOR YOURSELF AND WRITING FOR OTHER PEOPLE?

The songs I keep for myself wouldn’t make sense for anyone else to sing because they’re so personal. I write them to get through very specific moments in time. When I’m writing for someone else, I want their story to be the main part. I save most of my emotions for myself and my own music. 

WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO BE IN A SONGWRITING SESSION FOR YOURSELF? 

Usually, when I know I want to write for myself, I’m going into a room with producers and people that are like my family. I’ll either go in having written the song already or I’ll be very intentional that I want to talk about something that is going to be for me. But there isn’t a huge difference. I’ll try not to limit myself and say, “Today I’m writing for myself” or “Today I’m writing for someone else.” It’s just whatever is supposed to come out on that day will come out. That way there’s no pressure and I won’t feel disappointed if I didn’t write exactly what I was looking for. 

THIS IS YOUR FIRST SINGLE UNDER THE NAME CAROL ADES. HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT “I Can’t Wait to Be British” WAS THE FIRST SONG YOU WANTED TO PUT OUT AS A NEW ARTIST?

I’ve collected songs for myself over the past year that I’ve pocketed away after sessions. I finally decided that I was ready to start putting music out as my own artist. That song just felt like such a piece of my brain. It’s very neurotic, and I am very neurotic. If I was going to be coming out with music as a new artist under a new name, I was starting out with nobody knowing what to expect or what the music was going to be like. I wanted the song to feel like it was me—that someone could listen to it and feel like they knew more about who I am and not just about what the music is going to sound like. The song is just guitar and vocal. I’m passionate about being a songwriter and about the words being so important. It felt like it made sense to start with this song. 

WHAT IS YOUR WRITING PROCESS LIKE? DO YOU USUALLY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON SONG LYRICS OR DO YOU LET THEM COME NATURALLY?

It depends. Sometimes it takes a long time because I’m a perfectionist and I want everything to feel magical and special. Sometimes I feel like I don’t have anything to say. All my songs are about real things that are happening to me or have happened to me. It comes naturally when I’m deep in the emotion of what I’m feeling. A lot of the titles to my songs are unintentionally things that I repeat over and over again in my actual life. I’ll sometimes start with those phrases rather than with a concept. 

WOULD YOU OFTEN SAY, “I can’t wait to be British?” IN WHAT CONTEXT?

All the time. I would be like, “Fuck this. I’m frustrated. I’m scared because I don’t know how things are going to turn out. I don’t know if I’m going to make a lot of money from songwriting or if people are going to notice my music. I just want to be British.” I know it’s very silly, but part of me would believe it—that I would be better or cooler if I lived in England. 

IS IT EVER HARD TO BE THAT HONEST IN YOUR MUSIC?

As a songwriter for other people, I’ve learned how to go into a room and make someone else feel safe and like they can share their story. That’s so important to me and it’s one of the reasons why I love songwriting so much. I didn’t realize until more recently that I’m bad at sharing things about myself. Part of me thinks that that’s why I’m good at getting other people to open up. I know how to ask all the questions to other people to avoid talking about myself. But with music, writing songs has been the only place where I feel like I can and want to say things that are very honest and vulnerable.

IS THERE A PART OF THE SONG THAT YOU FEEL IS THE MOST HONEST?

All the lyrics are true. I made a rule for myself in college that I would only get a tattoo if my stomach was flat. I didn’t think that I could wear a bikini and have a stomach pooch and have tattoos too. I had all these rules for myself, even though I knew that I was smarter than that. I have a lot of tattoos now, but it was a big deal for me to get them without having the body that I thought I should have. I’m also queer and that was another thing that I didn’t want to explore and kind of pushed down. 

YOU SAY IN THE SONG THAT THOSE RULES YOU SET FOR YOURSELF DIDN’T MAKE SENSE. EXPLAIN THAT SENTIMENT. 

Even as we were writing the song, I was like, “I can’t say it doesn’t make sense—” but it didn’t. None of it made sense to me. The song took two days for me to write, and it doesn’t usually take me very long to write songs. I was so confused by it. I want all my songs to have a conclusion and this one just didn’t. It was a cool learning experience for me, but the whole writing process was confusing. 

IS THERE A PART OF THE SONG YOU’RE MOST PROUD OF?

I’m proud of the bridge. It came out so quickly. The vocal that we used was the vocal from the day that we wrote it. I’m also proud of the lyrics. I needed that song so much when I wrote it. I wrote the song in October of last year when I was going through a bad breakup. I listened to it every day for six months until I felt less crazy. You can give your friend the best advice in the world, but when it’s yourself, it is so hard to access the smarter part of your brain when you’re in distress or hurting. It was so helpful for me to hear my own voice say those words back to me— telling myself that I would be fine. 

WHAT DO YOU HOPE PEOPLE TAKE AWAY FROM LISTENING?

I hope it makes people think of the crazy rules that they make for themselves. We all do that. I don’t know where it comes from, but I don’t know one person who doesn’t do it. I love talking about it with my friends—the little rules that they’ve made— because when you say them out loud you realize how ridiculous they are. It steals so much time. I would have gotten tattoos so much earlier. I would have explored my sexuality so much earlier. I would have been so much more present in my life if I hadn’t obsessed over all these things. I just hope that it sparks some sort of thing in people’s heads where they can be like, “I do that too. Why do I do that?” 

Photos by Lennon Gregory.

YOU CAN LISTEN TO “I Can’t Wait to Be British” ON STREAMING SERVICES LIKE SPOTIFY AND APPLE MUSIC. STREAM THE SONG AND MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW @twentyminuteslater TO STAY UPDATED ON FUTURE POSTS.