Grace Gardner Talks Her New Song "Deny Me"

Grace Gardner’s “Deny Me” has already had a moment on TikTok, but it is now here to stay. The song, which was released today (10/28), is a rare example of a viral track that pushes past its acoustic origins and is made even better by its production. This is much to the credit of Grace Gardner, who produced a large portion of the song herself. Twenty Minutes Later got the chance to ask Grace a few questions about “Deny Me.” Read our interview below.

HOW IS “Deny Me” DIFFERENT FROM YOUR PREVIOUS RELEASES?

This release really feels like me. With “Radio Silence,” I didn’t have the resources to produce it the way that I wanted to. After it got released last October, I had to isolate myself and figure out what my sound is. I spent months doing meticulous Spotify research to figure out what I was inspired by and what influences I wanted to bring into my music. Then I taught myself how to use Logic Pro so I could produce my songs exactly how I wanted. “Deny Me” feels truer to me because I feel more secure in my identity as a musician. I also was able to get a lot of friends involved. I had a bunch of my friends sing background vocals and another friend played all the orchestral instruments on it.

I HEARD THAT YOU PLAY TEN INSTRUMENTS. CAN YOU NAME THEM ALL?

Ok so, guitar, bass, banjo, mandolin, lap steel guitar, ukulele, mountain dulcimer, drums, trumpet, piano.

DID YOU TEACH YOURSELF HOW TO PLAY THEM ALL?

Mostly, yeah. I took piano lessons in a church basement for six months when I was 7 years old. And I took guitar lessons for two weeks when I was nine, but most of it has been me teaching myself.

WAS YOUR INTRODUCTION TO MUSIC THROUGH INSTRUMENTS? WHEN DID YOU START SONGWRITING?

Definitely. I mean, I was in kid choirs growing up and I always liked singing, but my intro to music was through instruments. My Dad and I would listen to music together, and I would try to play it by ear on the piano.

WHEN YOU WROTE “Deny Me,” WHICH PART OF THE SONG CAME FIRST?

As much as my trajectory started off with instruments, once I learned how to channel my thoughts into words and music that completely flipped. I started doing a lot of writing first, and then the melody and instruments would come later. I wanted to lay out the words and then be able to design and tailor a chord progression based on that and make strategic music theory choices. With “Deny Me,” I got my feelings super hurt. I just kept writing song after song about this one specific person. I had the line, “I get this twisted and sickening feeling that I’m gonna marry you,” come into my head while I was Face Timing my friend. I was like, “Why do I have this pit in my stomach that I’m still going to end up with this person?” I had all this pain that I just had to sit through in order to get all the words out. I spent the last year of my life becoming a lot more of an intentional musician, and I went through the lyrics a lot trying to make sure that each line was worded as best as it could be.

THERE’S A LOT TO UNPACK WITH THE LINE, “I GET THIS TWISTED AND SICKENING FEELING THAT I’M GOING TO MARRY YOU.” WHAT IS IT LIKE TO FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT SOMEBODY?

I was sitting with myself and still feeling so much love towards this person, but also so much anger and resentment. I’m not the type of person to get sad right off the bat. I usually go toward the enraged side first. The “twisted and sickening” part was almost like me feeling a sort of self-hatred about not being able to move on. I don’t think I had any closure with this person which led to this almost nauseating feeling.

DID WRITING THIS SONG GIVE YOU ANY CLOSURE?

I would love to say that the answer to that is yes, but unfortunately no. “Deny Me” was one of the songs that I couldn’t stop writing. There are so many other sister songs about this one person, but I think this one helped to resolve a small pocket of my feelings at the time. It also brought me so much comfort that so many people were connecting with it on TikTok and in the comment section. That community brought me a lot of healing. But in terms of getting over that one person, I’m still writing my way through it.

WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION TO THE SONG PERFORMING WELL ON TIKTOK?

There were so many more pros than cons. The one con was that I really had to develop digital boundaries and limit the time that I was spending on my phone. But I was completely stunned. I’ve been doing music for a long time and playing gigs since I was fourteen. I was already working on an EP and “Deny Me” was on it before all of this started, so the timing could not have been better. I’m a humble person to a fault. I never gas myself up. I’ve been working painstakingly on my music for so long, so to feel like it’s getting some traction is really uplifting. Music has been my dream and my goal and my passion for as long as I can remember. I’m glad that all the work my team and I have been doing is starting to pay off.

WHEN YOU POSTED THE SONG ON TIKTOK, WAS IT ALREADY FINISHED?

The only part of the song that I didn’t have figured out was the bridge. I love a good bridge. I knew that I needed a powerful and contrasting moment in the song, but I was kind of at a loss for words. It took one more push of heartbreak—one more interaction with this person—to finish the song. There wasn’t a ton of pressure to finish writing it, but there was a lot of pressure to finish producing it. I love it when the production pushes past the raw acoustic version of a song. As a producer, as well as a singer-songwriter, I really wanted to create something that takes you by the chest and throws you into the abyss. I spent a lot of time on Logic Pro getting all these touches of magic in there. The song has come a long way since I posted it on TikTok and I’m so excited for people to hear it.

WHEN YOU WERE MAKING THE TRACK WERE YOU GOING TO THE STUDIO, OR WAS IT ALL DONE REMOTELY?

It was all done remotely. I just moved to Austin about a month ago and most of my music friends are still in New Orleans. I played a lot of the instruments on “Deny Me,” but I’m so thankful that my friends at home had Logic Pro and access to Digital Audio Workspaces and could help me.

WHAT DO YOU HOPE PEOPLE ADMIRE ABOUT THE PRODUCTION? WHAT ABOUT IT MAKES THE SONG FEEL SPECIAL?

I can’t thank the people who worked with me on the song enough. I used to think that I could do everything myself and quickly realized that was not the case. The guy who has been my bassist has been a huge collaborator and gave the song so much life. I hope people pick all of the different sounds in the production and notice that there is so much going on in a good and sonically pleasing way.

lS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW ABOUT THE SONG?

“Deny Me” is my slowest song. It’s the slowest and most heartfelt song that will be on my upcoming EP. All my songs come from my heart, but lyrically speaking, this one comes from the layers underneath it. It’s hard to make myself vulnerable like that. It came from a place that is not well-visited by the people around me. Not many people are familiar with the side of me that is that intimate. Most of the other songs on the EP are more indie-rock with some singer-songwriter influences woven in. I chose to put out “Deny Me” first. I think it’s cool that we are going to get all our healing out first before we get into all the other stuff.

YOU CAN LISTEN TO “Deny Me” BY GRACE GARDNER ON STREAMING SERVICES LIKE SPOTIFY AND APPLE MUSIC. STREAM THE SONG AND MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW @twentyminuteslater TO STAY UPDATED ON FUTURE RELEASES.